March 6, 2019: Ettakelem Arabee Schwaya

I’ve started Arabic lessons!  My coworker, Sara, and I are getting tutored by our other coworker, Ahmed.  In today’s lesson we learned how to shop. I now know how to order myself chicken shawarma with cheese (no spices) and I can get strawberries and bell peppers from the market.  Next session, Ahmed is taking us shopping and we have to get our own produce.

Sara had to leave today a few minutes early, so those last few minutes I told Ahmed everything I had learned in Arabic before coming to Egypt.  Once I accepted my job here, I spent 5 months listening to “Arabic for Dummies” on cd while driving to and from school, only to arrive in Egypt and discover that most of what I learned was classical Arabic and not used here.  I’ve heard that the Arabic I learned is kind of like Shakespearean English to a native English speaker. Very formal and funny sounding. This afternoon, I had Ahmed literally in tears as I spoke to him in the Classical Arabic I learned.  I imagine it probably is very funny to hear these old, fancy Arabic words coming out of the mouth of a super ignorant white girl! Especially since I was unaware that I was saying everything in the same tone that the cd lady used, which makes it sound like I’m a Shakespearean GPS system.  I love that I can provide such entertainment.

Speaking of entertainment, a few Arabic mishap stories:

1. Apparently “yellow” and “clever”  sound very similar. I have asked for a clever pepper  rather than a yellow pepper on occasion before finally being corrected.  I of course asked for clever peppers on purpose. Doesn’t everyone know those are the best kinds? I’m happy that this was a mishap that wasn’t offensive at all.  I’ve since learned that the word for “late” sounds very similar to vulgar word for “poop.” I’m committed to never commenting on anyone’s lack of punctuality while I live here.

2.  Earlier this year, I was working on CVC words with my students.  We came across the word, “hum” and one of my kids blurts out, “Yeah, like hum me a mum me a gammel.”  I asked him what it meant, and he replied with, “mmm it means, ‘this food is good.’” Excellent. I filed that away for future use.  Fast forward a few weeks and I was at a restaurant. The food was, indeed, good, so I busted out the hum me a mum me a gammel phrase.  The server just stared at me, obviously confused. The next day, I asked my student if I had said it correctly, and he verified that I had.  After school I asked my Arabic speaking coworker about the phrase, and he told me that the phrase is what moms say to their little babies when they are feeding them.  It’s the Egyptian Arabic version of “here comes the airplane.” So to my student, it would translate into the food being good, but highly inappropriate for me to say to a server!  My coworker does stand up comedy, and he laughed so hard at this story that he asked if he could incorporate it into his routine. I of course said I was happy to provide any sort of material possible.  He sent me the video of his routine when he performed it live. I of course couldn’t understand anything he said other than the “hum me a mum me a gammel,” and once he said it, the crowd burst out laughing.  I’m here all week, Egypt.