From Fleece to Linen: December the rest: Advent in Egypt

I'm not going to share one picture for every remaining day in December. I don't ever do this, but I've decided to lump the rest of December into one post and pick up my picture a day again in January.

This Christmas season, for obvious reasons, was unlike any other for me. Being a Christian in a Muslim country is just about how I imagined it would be. I'm extremely grateful for the little church community that is here, but even more so thankful for the community at home who has not forgotten me. Marco Polo and facetime have made it possible to continue to fellowship with those far from me. But it's still hard. I would love to say that during this Christmas season, I was faithfully preparing my heart for the celebration of my King, but it's just not the truth. I was sad, overwhelmed, distracted. I set my tree up, played a little Christmas music here and there, made some ornaments with my kiddos, and had some awkward interactions with some Christmas characters (see one of the photos below). but I didn't take time to truly anticipate the celebration of Jesus. I'm sure most of it had to do with not wanting to feel anything this season. I know myself, and when I allow the tiniest bit of emotion to catch me off guard, it's unstoppable and uncontrollable. Tears for days. At one point, my good friend here stopped by one of our church's Christmas services with her son. They sat next to me, and I was overjoyed by the surprise. And then the memories of worshipping alongside my nephews and family was so vivid, that I bawled all through service, and for a day and a half later, anytime I thought about it. So it was a bit easier to just avoid all of that emotional messiness and take a secular approach to Christmas this season. I really wish I hadn't, because Jesus deserves so much more than what I allowed myself to give Him.

Have I ever mentioned that I am so grateful for a God who sees the depths of my heart and loves me the same? Truly incredible.

Being home was better than I could have hoped or imagined. I cried as soon as I got off the plane and saw Meagan and my mom, and I cried as soon as I walked into Arthur and Henry's room and saw them sleeping. Cried again when I took Elliot out of his crib the next morning. Cried on and off that entire first morning as we just sat around as a family, eating things with real maple syrup on them, coloring in coloring books, riding bikes around the driveway, and laughing about everything and nothing. It would have been perfect if Jesse and Dan had made it down to see us, but thankfully I got to see them for a couple days when I was back in Michigan. I'm proud to say I got the crying under control and for the rest of vacation, I was a fully functioning adult with an appropriate amount of emotional control.